Last week I bought a bracelet that measures how many calories I work off if I log my food intake onto my computer. The bracelet tracks my exercise. This should be easy for anyone, right? Wrong. It would only be easy for people who live in the US. The rest of us have to work at this because the loggable foods are US foods which, although people who live in the US might assume everyone else eats, are totally obscure to the rest of the English speaking world. I could be exaggerating.
The first day I logged on porridge for breakfast. I could choose between about 20 of them with enormous calorie counts and strange ingredients. In porridge? What to choose, what to choose?
I ended up accepting 350 calories for the one that sounded closest to real porridge. Then I had to add rhubarb, which I do to my porridge. A cup! I couldn’t eat a cup of rhubarb and live to see my next belch. So I ended up with a 600 calorie breakfast that I would have taken all week to eat. (As it turned out, that much does.)
Lunch. In the US people don’t appear to eat bread. I found bready things with weird additives but I make my own bread - plain wholemeal. Once I added salad to my ham, I had a sandwich worth 400 cals. !
Dinner. A chicken sausage. I never found a plain chicken sausage and the closest was something with apple and maple syrup. I wouldn’t put either of those tastes with chicken and it sounded nauseating but that was the only chicken sausage that didn’t have ridiculously calorific additives. Eventually, I swapped that on the log for a chicken breast, and got the calorie count down to something I could imagine might be equal to a chicken sausage. I ate baked beans with the sausage and I make my own baked beans in a hidden vegetable sauce, white beans with tomato, celery, onion, carrot, zucchini, red capsicum, mustard, treacle, herbs. It’s a healthy meal and the calories are few. I think I had to accept a cup of that as 350 cals, though I thought no way.
Overnight I decided that I should have logged oats instead of porridge. Wooppee. 30 cals. Rhubarb. I saw sliced rhubarb hidden among various brand-name rhubarb, or hotel chain rhubarb? I haven’t worked that out yet. I tried logging in my own measurements, which worked, and I got 30 cals for ¼ cup of sliced rhubarb. I finally found two slices of wholemeal bread among 20 or thirty calorific breads I’ve never heard of, so they weren’t sour dough, freeka, or rye. I haven’t discovered a plain sausage but I won’t eat another in the next month anyway. However, I managed to substitute grams or slices for oz (whatever that is other than Oz (Australia).
The day before, I logged my sandwich salad as one serve for 135 calories because every other salad had even more calories. A salad? Today I counted out the ingredients I used. Six cals. Yup. Six. Last night I did the same with the salad I had with my piece of fresh salmon. 14 cals. It’s in the photo. I couldn’t find fresh salmon on the log so I chose the brand name with the least calories. Why would no fresh salmon be on a list for people who have decided to be healthy?
I can’t understand why the inventors of a product (the bracelet) that is clearly sold all over the world would assume their customers would eat a diet of processed foods. Nowhere on the list did I find a plain pork chop. I had to have one with a brand name. If I had ever eaten more calories than the bracelet said I should consume to lose my extra weight, I would use my calorie book to find the right counts, but while I’m not having a problem, except dropped jaw when I read the processed food lists, it doesn’t matter.
So far I’ve lost weight from my hands.
Daily I burn about 2000 cals, walk 8 kms, and eat 1000cals.
Next week I hope to have smaller feet.